For Your Mental Health, Don’t Try to Understand Everything

For Your Mental Health, Don’t Try to Understand Everything

We’ve all been there—wanting answers to everything. Why do I feel this way? Why did that person say that? Why did this situation happen? And while it’s natural to seek meaning, how often does that urge to understand everything leave us more frustrated than at peace?

Today, I want to invite you to reflect on this: you don’t need to understand everything to be okay.

The Problem with Overanalyzing

We all know someone—or maybe that someone is you—who gets stuck thinking, “Why did this happen?” It might be after an argument with a friend or when faced with an odd emotion you can’t quite explain. We believe that finding the answer will bring us peace. But what actually happens is that we end up feeling more anxious, trapped in a loop of overthinking.

Take Carlos (a fictional name), for example, a patient I worked with. Every time he had a disagreement with someone or felt uncomfortable, he would spend hours analyzing the situation. His go-to phrase was:“If I understand what’s happening, I’ll be able to control it.”

But guess what? That constant analysis didn’t help him gain control. Instead, it kept him stuck in his head, disconnected from what mattered most: living and feeling.

This happens to many of us. We want explanations because we think they give us power over what’s happening. But sometimes, that control isn’t necessary. Life is a beautiful chaos, and not everything needs to make sense.

Why Do We Want to Understand Everything?

The short answer: because it makes us feel safe. If we know why something happens, we feel we can avoid or handle it better in the future. But here’s the thing—not everything has a clear explanation, and that’s okay.

As Alan Watts, a philosopher who focused a lot on embracing uncertainty, said:“The only way to make sense of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”

In simpler terms: not everything needs to be solved; some things are just meant to be experienced.

The Cost of Not Letting Go

When you cling to the idea of understanding everything, it comes at an emotional cost. Anxiety increases, frustration builds, and the worst part—you disconnect from the present moment.

Imagine you’re on a beautiful beach, but instead of enjoying the sea and the sand, you spend your time analyzing why the waves move the way they do or why the sky looks a certain color. Does understanding it all actually help you? No. All it does is make you miss the experience.

The same goes for our emotions and life’s situations. Sometimes, we just need to let them be.

How to Let Go of Overanalyzing and Find Peace

I know saying “just let it go” sounds easier said than done. But here’s a tip you can try the next time you feel stuck in an endless cycle of overthinking:

1. Pause. When you notice your mind starting to analyze everything, stop. Literally, take a pause and breathe deeply.

2. Ask yourself:“Do I really need to understand this to move on?”

3. Accept what you’re feeling. Instead of focusing on the why, focus on the what. What are you feeling? Frustration, sadness, anger? Let it exist.

4. Bring yourself back to the present. Go for a walk, listen to music, or simply focus on something you enjoy. This helps break the cycle of overthinking.

Embracing Uncertainty: A Life Skill

Learning to accept that not everything has a clear explanation is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. As Tara Brach, a therapist I deeply admire, puts it:“Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up; it means freeing yourself from unnecessary suffering.”

Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation—it’s understanding that you don’t need all the answers to move forward.

Take a Moment to Reflect

Think about something that has recently caused you anxiety because you didn’t fully understand it. Maybe it was a misunderstanding with someone or an emotion you struggled to handle. Now ask yourself:

“What would happen if I stopped trying to understand it and simply accepted it for what it is?”

Acceptance doesn’t magically solve problems, but it takes a huge weight off your shoulders. It frees you to live in the moment instead of being stuck in your thoughts.

Peace Is in Letting Go

So here’s my simplest (but most powerful) piece of advice: for your mental health, don’t try to understand everything. Accepting that life has its own rhythm and that not everything has a clear explanation is a way to take care of yourself.

Remember: peace doesn’t always come from answers. Sometimes, it comes when we stop looking for them.

I’ll see you again in the next article. In the meantime, let go a little and live. Because life isn’t meant to be understood; it’s meant to be felt.